As I listen to folks tell me about their grumpy relatives I'm reminded of when I was a caregiver for an uncooperative old grump, whom I dearly loved. I was his caregiver.
I'll share my experience. and if you wish to give my method a try - be my guest!
Uncle Roy was a different sort of fellow. Several relatives had taken him into their homes but they couldn't even get him to bathe or eat what they cooked. For them - He was a problem!
Soon I took on the task and JOY of looking after him. (the last 12 to 15 years of His life.
Situations that arose:He would sit for hours reading the Bible but if I walked in the room he'd start knocking the Bible, saying it was written by a bunch of drunks. On and on he'd go! Therefore; when I knew he was reading the Bible I wouldn't enter the room... I trusted the Holy Spirit would woo him into absorbing and believing God's WORD.. All in God's timing! I continued praying.
When any subject came up - Uncle Roy would argue the opposite view. But you see, I knew that Uncle Roy craved attention. Being obstinate and argumentative was his way of getting plenty of attention. Besides, arguing was his kind of entertainment.
Although relatives couldn't get him to eat or bathe, I had no big problem with those issues. He seldom took a bath or changed his clothes without me nudging him a little. I could persuade him to bathe and change clothes but sometimes it took a few tries and a nudge or two, to get him to finally cooperate. Often I'd suggest if he'd take a bath and change his clothes I'd take him to his favorite place to eat. It worked like a charm! He'd bathe, change clothes, and eat a good meal in the process. Sometimes I'd tell him I was washing clothes and I needed his dirty clothes to have a full load. Then I said, "Please change clothes so I can throw your clothes in the washer and get my washing done." Good tactics! It worked!
When I fixed food and took it to him he'd say, "I'm not hungry, just take it back. You didn't have to bring me anything!" I would replied, "Oh, I know I didn't have to bring you food but I wanted to bring it to you - I fixed it just for YOU, because I love you, and Jesus loves you too!" Then he would say, "Well if you fixed it just for me, then I better eat it." Wow, it worked like a charm!
As time went by kinfolk observed. Local relatives said, "Mary Kay, you have a way with Roy, and you can get him to cooperate when none of us could!"
My Secret - I dearly loved Uncle Roy. And he felt and relished my love.
Showering Christ-like love upon the most stubborn old cranks will eventually break down the wall of resistance.
Christ-like love is irresistible!
No one, for long, can continue resisting a gentle/caring spirit of love!
Copyright © 2000
Mary Katherine Kohl
All Rights Reserved
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